Let us rent a crowd. It is that time for the concerts again. Let us gather them from the ends of the country, from their various places of miserable abode and plant them on the campaign arena. We need not just their voice but also their nuisance value. We need also, their misery and their ignorance to make the show thick. Graciously their misery makes their conscience so cheap to rent. Their conscience is worth only but a few Nairas.
Let us rent a crowd. A huge crowd. Let us clad them in cheap imported Ankara. Some extra cloths to hide their nakedness is but an act of kindness. Let us dash out weak Tee-shirt with the face of the politician smiling up at them. If it doesn’t survive the first wash, it would be a good extra wear to the farm. Shouldn’t they be grateful, this cash and carry heads, to get free Ankara and free T-shirts?
Let us gather the women. Let us take them off the markets and roadside shops where they daily battle for survival and assemble them before the campaign podium. A few measures of salt, sugar and cuts of bar soap would do the trick. Let us teach them a song to sing and make them dance and smile in the sun while we sit in the stands and wave at them as if sympathizing with their plight.
How about the youths. Where else is their exuberance more useful? Let us load them on buses and deliver them like programmed robots at our control. The noise sounds best when it is made by them. It is second nature to them really. And when the rally is done, let us have them in position to snatch the ballot boxes and stuck them with the ballot papers we are planning to steal. Let’s arm them with machetes and set them against their fellow youths. Its but by the endless powers of the Naira. At its sight, they shall get intoxicated.
And yes we can not leave out the praise singers. We shall oil the pipes and detect the tune. We shall kidnap the pens and arrest the air waves. We shall buy the journalists too and pad their hands with bulky envelops. We shall compromise those that prove to be too upright and make them dance to the beats of our drums. They shall suffer amnesia and paper the cracks on our image. They shall twist history and feed crap to their even more compromised readership.
We can afford to rent as much crowd as we like for we had long planned for this day. Let us go and uncover the dump where we have been hiding all the stolen money. Let us dole it out for we have more than enough to share. Let us get excited at the smile that flashes on their faces when we hand those crispy notes to them. Let us feel like demi gods as we purchase their will and their conscience. Let us look again and say to ourselves, yes, we would have our way again.
But may be, it wouldn’t be the same this time. May be the crowd are wiser this time. May be they are hungrier and far angrier and will cost quite more to rent. May be they are now too cheap that they now resist to be rented. May be they are no more up for rent. They are ready to take their own decisions and decide their own fate. They are ready to register and vote this time. May be, just may be.